Archive for the ‘parenting’ Category

Slow, rainy day

Or least it was suppose to be a slow, rainy day.  But then, the 9 year old looked at the calender and reminded me that he and his brothers have a dentist appointment at 3pm.  So we have to leave the house after all.  It wouldn’t be such a big deal if we didn’t live 5 miles from the interstate.  Okay, so that isn’t such a big deal except that we have several detours to get around while the state rebuilds some bridges.  It adds 10-15 minutes to our travel time.   Blah.

The boys love their dentist.  They visit a pediatric dentist who has a cool set up for the kiddos.  Dentist visits have never been traumatic for us.  Uh, knock on wood.

Really, though, I just want to sit on the porch and sip my coffee for a while.  I don’t want to shower and dress today because I thought I didn’t have to.  *pout*  But, that’s life our way.

The big plans for today included finally getting my coupons organized so I take pictures of (and explain) the process I use to get great deals on groceries.  Hopefully I’ll still have time for that.

Checking in

It’s been busy around and, of course, I’ve been getting over the.sickness.  Blah.  But I’m better and back in the day-to-day.

I had hoped that my next post would be all about how I “do” coupons.  I really do have a plan, a routine, that I follow in order to get the best deals.  I promise to share that soon.

But first, I have to get through mid-terms week.  There are simply not enough hours in the day.  I also have a conference (my very first conference I’ve attended for my profession!) on Friday and Saturday that will pretty much take up my whole weekend.  I’m thankful that it’s in my town so that could attend, but unfortunately, since I’m home I’ll be fitting in the regular mom-life around it.  At some point on those two days I have to chauffeur the children, get my house cleaned, cook dinner, buy a birthday present for a five year old and somehow get my own five year old to a birthday party.  Sure, dh will be around to help.  He does what he can, but you know . . . the hustling still falls to me.  /woeisme

 

I’d like to talk about age seven today.  Something magical happens to children at the age of seven.  They become quite human.  You begin to see all of the redirecting, scripting and modeling you’ve done begin to pay off.  Sure, temperament is temperament and personality is personality but the typical bordering-on-antisocial behaviour that is often displayed by the under-five set and again by six year olds at times seemingly disappears sometime after that seventh birthday.

My favorite thing about seven is that my boys have become more tolerant of each other.  When my oldest son was seven and my middle son five they would go outside to play and I would realize after thirty minutes or so that no one had come in to tattle because the other one wasn’t playing the game right or wasn’t sharing or *insert offense here*.  And now I see my middle son (who was seven in September) beginning to include the youngest (who will be five in January) in his games.  The level of cooperation is fantastic and that’s not because the four year old makes it easy.  silly

Yes, I love age seven.  So, hang in there mamas–especially those of you who, like myself, spaced those babies two or less years apart.  Soon enough you’ll get the cooperation, independence and peace that comes with seven!

We must learn to accept the fact that during their developmental years children cannot be expected to exhibit adult behavior. –Robert Mendelsohn, M.D.

I’d like to talk about age seven today.  Something magical happens to children at the age of seven.  They become quite human.  You begin to see all of the redirecting, scripting and modeling you’ve done begin to pay off.  Sure, temperament is temperament and personality is personality but the typical bordering-on-antisocial behaviour that is often displayed by the under-five set and again by six year olds at times seemingly disappears sometime after that seventh birthday.

My favorite thing about seven is that my boys have become more tolerant of each other.  When my oldest son was seven and my middle son five they would go outside to play and I would realize after thirty minutes or so that no one had come in to tattle because the other one wasn’t playing the game right or wasn’t sharing or *insert offense here*.  And now I see my middle son (who was seven in September) beginning to include the youngest (who will be five in January) in his games.  The level of cooperation is fantastic and that’s not because the four year old makes it easy.  silly

Yes, I love age seven.  So, hang in there mamas–especially those of you who, like myself, spaced those babies two or less years apart.  Soon enough you’ll get the cooperation, independence and peace that comes with seven!

We must learn to accept the fact that during their developmental years children cannot be expected to exhibit adult behavior. –Robert Mendelsohn, M.D.

Changes

In just over a month I will begin my internship as a Marriage and Family Therapist.  My heart leaps with excitement every time I think of it.  I’ve waited so long for this and worked very hard to get here.  At the same time my heart sinks a bit when I consider what I’m going to be missing while I’m working.

When I was pregnant with my oldest child I felt strongly that I should stay home with him (and any other children I might have) until he reached school age.  Of course, then I didn’t know I’d be home schooling.  I knew that losing even my small income would put a strain on our finances but I was certain that somehow it would work out.  And it did, but not right away.

I was so determined that I would be a stay at home mom that I did not look for child care in my last months of pregnancy or during the first month of my 6 week maternity leave.  Finally, I was forced to realize that I would have to go back to work and I tearfully began to call day care centers.  I found a great one but it made no difference in how wrong it felt to me.  Ah, but the desire of my heart remained and a few weeks into my return from maternity leave I proposed to my boss that I be allowed to work from home.  I expected him to say no but he agreed that the arrangement would be workable.  And for two years it absolutely was.  How blessed I was to be able to care for my child *and* contribute to our income.  This lasted until there was a change in management locally and the new manager did not appreciate the benefits of my telecommuting.  I was given the choice of returning to the office or, well, there was really no other choice.  Having just worked through a second maternity leave only taking off the two days I spent in the hospital I was pretty upset.  I made the decision to quit and agreed to train someone to take my place.  It was scary to leave that income behind, especially consider we had just purchased our first home, but I looked forward to being able to focus completely on my children and not be concerned with work.

Naturally, I filled in my free time with a job as a preschool teacher and went back to work on my BS later that year.  And since then I’ve always done something to contribute to our income whether it was working at my sons’ preschool, writing, doing a short stint as a hotel receptionist and I’ve been in school full time for years.  But, unless they were in preschool, it’s always been me or my husband with the children.  And I’ve been fortunate.  I never forget how blessed I am in this regard.

But, now I’m at a stage in my education and career where I must be away from home.  Over 20 hours per week (nearly half of them commute time!) I’ll be away from my babies.  And they aren’t babies anymore, but it’s still hard.  It’s such a transistion.  An exciting and yet sad transistion.  They will be fine without me, of course.  They don’t nurse or need me to fall asleep.  They can fix their own snacks and get their own water.  But I’ll miss them.  And eventually my work hours will increase.  While my husband can be here in my absence for now, eventually we’ll need a nanny to fill in during the time we’re both at work.

While some days as a stay at home mom were long and monotonous I will never forget how blessed I was to get to be with my children from waking to sleeping for these 9 years.  I wish it was possible for all mothers who desire this lifestyle to have it.

The Day My Hiding Places Were Discovered

I have no more hiding places for my mommy junk.  You know, the chocolate and soda you keep hidden away for a crazy day?  The boys know all of my hiding places.  And they used to find my goodies and eat/drink them openly, very proud of themselves for finding such sugary goodness.  Until today.  I opened the school room closet this evening and found a black and white blob on a lower shelf.  It was a half-eaten cream-filled cupcake.  Apparently someone was interrupted and had to abort the cupcake mission before completion.  Pre-packaged cup cakes aren’t really my thing and I have no idea how long this box of cupcakes was in the closet but there was 1.5 left.  My last hiding place has been discovered.  No more mommy junk.  Meditation doesn’t calm PMS the same way chocolate does, sweet little ones.  (Although, if said meditation wasn’t interrupted by sibling button pushing and unauthorized scissors use it might work must better.  In fact, the little hands that found the cup cakes were likely searching for scissors to finish the job on the couch they started a few weeks ago.)

The last weekend of summer vacation

Ds4 (and a half!) starts preschool on Monday.  His older brothers (despite my disapproving looks when they express it in front of him) are ecstatic.  They forget they were once four and just as four as their four year old brother is now.  Ds4 is excited, too, and has some of his friends from last year in his class again this year.  I’m excited for the four mornings per week to shop study alone.  It looks like I’d better take full advantage of that time for doing my school work, working out, grocery shopping, etc because I think I’ve found the place where I will be doing my internship.

It’s in private practice where I did not expect to ever work, really, but I have to be confident that God is trying to show me where He needs me.  Sure, when I was a 20 year old psychology/sociology undergrad I imagined that I’d eventually be that Hollywood stereotyped clinical psychologist/therapist but eventually working in a community agency setting became much more appealing.  I’m not interested in selling myself and if you’re going to pay the bills doing private practice, you’ve got to advertise your services and rely on referrals.  In community agency there are quotas to fill but the work is steady.  For whatever reason I have now been given an opportunity to do my clinicals in a private practice setting and so I am embracing it and cannot wait to get started.

The practice is beautiful, warm and inviting.  It’s not at all clinical-feeling.  It’s literally like walking into a friend’s home and sitting on her couch to chat.  Except your therapist is NOT your friend.  ‘Cause that’s a breech of ethics, folks!  But, warm and cozy decor is helpful in putting clients at ease, imo.

I’m suppose to start in mid-Oct if all the paperwork is done.  I have a ton of research to do about the area in which I will be working.  I’ll have to drive about 50 minutes each way, but the commute is worth it to me.  I love the drive time to clear my head of all things “supermom” and transform in to “incredible intern”.  (Someone hold me!  What if I can’t save the world?)

Anyway, so next week starts the crazy that is Fall in our home.  But don’t let me fool you.  I love every minute of it.  Ds9 is playing club soccer and rec soccer this year so that will keep us busy.  Ds6 didn’t want to play any sports or do any activities other than art class.  Ds4 is in tumbling and a month of swim lessons.

And now I must plan lessons for next week.